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From Panic To Power
by Lucinda Bassett
 Chapter 1
All Things Are Possible
Come to the edge, He said.
They said, We are afraid.
Come to the edge, He said.
They came.
He pushed them...
And they flew.
-Guillaume Apollinaire
Here's the good news: you're special. If you are someone
who experiences more than the average amount of anxiety, you are full of
potential for greatness. Why? Because you probably have above average
intelligence. You are highly creative with a fabulous imagination. You are
detail-oriented and analytical. These are wonderful traits that can make you
extremely successful and enable you to accomplish great things. Unfortunately,
people with anxiety disorders tend to use their attributes to scare themselves.
They overintellectualize, overanalyze, and use their creativity to envision the
worst possible scenarios. Used in a negative way, our wonderful traits can make
us sick.
Let's pretend for a moment that you could turn all this
anxious energy around and make it work for you instead of against you. Can you
imagine how different your life might be? Ask yourself where you might be right
now if anxiety and fear weren't holding you back. If anything were possible.
What would you do differently if you weren't afraid to fail or to succeed, if
you weren't afraid of anxious feelings or being alone? What if you weren't
afraid to take chances, to get involved, or even to embarrass yourself a little?
Your whole life might be different. You might be living somewhere else or
working somewhere else. Possibly you would have different relationships. Or
maybe you would be right where you are, but you'd be enjoying it a whole lot
more. It's not too late.
A Call To Freedom
With this book, you can go to the edge and free yourself
from anxiety. You can find freedom and take charge of your life, now and
forever. As wonderful as that sounds, I know it also sounds scary. You need to
trust yourself and know that you have all the tools necessary to get on the road
to recovery and to build a good life for yourself. You just need a good
foundation.
When you embark on a learning process that will most
assuredly change your life forever, don't you want to learn from someone who has
overcome those debilitating fears? When you learn from someone who has done it,
you can be reassured and motivated. That's where I come in. I've been there and
I've made it out the other side.
For many, many years I made excuses for why my life wasn't
going the way I wanted it to. My anxiety was a frightening experience, but at
the same time it was also my protection. My constant fears and body symptoms --
feelings of bewilderment, heart palpitations, dizziness -- gave me reasons not
to do the things that really scared me, like taking chances, ending unhealthy
relationships, standing up for and depending upon myself. I spent many years of
my life feeling different from other people. I had scary thoughts about losing
control. I often worried that I would embarrass myself or the people close to
me.
I had always considered myself independent. Energetic as a
child, creative and fun loving as a teenager, I loved to have fun and do
exciting things. Yet, I remember having scary thoughts as young as seven years
old. By the age of nine, I had developed an eating disorder. The sight of food
made me sick. Secretly, I thought I was dying of some horrible disease. Despite
a substantial weight loss, I appeared happy, but I wasn't.
As time passed, the eating problems dissipated and I
developed another anxiety-related problem: irritable bowel syndrome. This
frustrating problem is common to many people with anxiety disorder. By fourteen,
everything in my life revolved around my fear of diarrhea. I made excuses about
my comings and goings. My activities were extremely limited. I couldn't enjoy my
teenage years.
What happened to me is what happens to so many people. One
fear created another. By my sixteenth birthday, a time when I should have been
focused on boys and school, I was in a constant state of worry. I remember
watching the news and hearing the usual stories about someone jumping out a
window or hurting someone else and I would think, "What if I did
that?" Of course I didn't tell anyone about my thoughts. There might have
been something wrong with me and I didn't want anyone else to think I was
strange. By the time I was eighteen, I was experiencing panic attacks regularly,
feeling uncomfortable in any situation where I couldn't run if need be. I began
making excuses for myself. The simplest things were difficult for me.
One of my most difficult challenges was being in an
unhealthy relationship. I knew I should leave, but I was so insecure about being
alone, I couldn't end it. It turned out that I didn't have to; he ended it. Once
on my own, I moved a few times and changed jobs and, although I was full of
fear, anxiety, and self-doubt, I functioned. I somehow managed to stay in my
comfort zone, physically and emotionally.
By my early twenties, I wondered if I was losing my mind.
Insanity was my biggest fear back then. I remember driving miles out of my way
to avoid passing a state Psychiatric hospital, so afraid I might end up there.
The interesting thing is that most people didn't notice my strange behavior.
Even those closest to me didn't know about my hidden fears. This is typical.
Everyone is focused on his own life just as we are.
From FROM PANIC TO POWER by Lucinda Bassett. Copyright (c)
2000 by Lucinda Bassett. Reprinted by arrangement with HarperPerennial, an
imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.
Imprint: HarperPerennial; ISBN: 0060927585;
Format: Paperback; Released On: 12/19/96;
Trimsize: 5-1/2 X 8-1/4; Pages: 288; $13; $18.5(CAN)
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