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Triumphant Journey:
A Cyberguide To Stop Overeating and Recover from Eating Disorders
by Joanna
Poppink, M.F.C.C.
PART THREE
Exercises to Stop Overeating
Exercise 1 - 4
- 1. General Situation - anxiety: Any time you overeat you are trying
to soothe yourself. Often overeating works, numbing your emotions. You may even think you
feel safe or calm as you approach emotional oblivion.
- Exercise:
- Ask yourself:
- Where do I need to feel safe or calm in my life?
- Where do I need to accept my powerlessness?
- Where do I need to develop and exercise my power?
For example, are you trying to change people or events which are
beyond your control? This may be where you need to accept your powerlessness.
Are you neglecting yourself and activities which you can effect?
This may be where you need to develop and exercise your power.
- Make a list of three areas you would like to be different in your
life. Think of what you can and cannot influence on this list. Let go of what you cannot
change. Add to this list at any time.
- By reading and thinking about these Exercises to Stop Overeating you
have already begun to exercise your personal power.
-
- 2. Situation -- unfinished tasks: Unfinished tasks confront you. You
feel depressed and overwhelmed. You eat rather than begin your work.
-
- Exercise:
- Pause. List your tasks. Complete a small task before you eat.
Completing the task will let you experience power more satisfying than that which comes
from overeating.
- The tasks may be too many and too complex for you. Break these large
tasks into several small activities. Write them down.
- Give yourself freedom to choose. Decide if you will put your effort
into one task, working on all the activities until the task is completed. Or decide if you
will put effort into several tasks, performing a few activities for each. As you complete
an activity, check it off your list.
- You are giving yourself freedom and power. You are giving yourself a
reasonable structure. You are giving yourself a way to mobilize your power for your own
benefit. You will appreciate your efforts when you see they lead you to fulfillment of
your goals.
-
- 3. Situation -- verge of a binge: You are on the verge of a binge.
You are deciding what and how much you will eat. You promise yourself you will stop at
reasonable limits (although you rarely succeed in keeping this promise.)
-
- Exercise:
- Pause. Write a description of your last hour, the immediate hour you
lived just before now.
- Include:
- What happened.
- What you did.
- What you said.
- What you thought.
- What you felt.
- You may have experienced something hurtful or frightening to you. You
may have been reminded of something hurtful or frightening. This can be true even if what
happened in the hour seems, on the surface, to be simple and ordinary.
- Remember, you now know that there is something you don't know. So
something innocuous, like hanging up the phone, or misplacing your shoes, or looking at a
coffee cup on a shelf might actually trigger a painful feeling in you that you would
prefer not to feel.
- Think of how you might soothe or comfort yourself. You may need
understanding you can't give yourself. You might find that understanding and holding in a
book, painting or piece of music. You might listen to an educational or inspirational
tape. You might call a friend.
- You might continue to journal. Write what you are thinking and
feeling now. Read it out loud. Read it out loud a second time in front of a mirror.
- Let yourself learn to listen. When you hear your true hunger's voice
you can give yourself the nourishment you really need.
-
- 4. Situation -- in process of overeating: You are eating more than
you need during a meal.
-
- Exercise: Pause. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Breathe
normally and pay attention to your breath. Feel the oxygen enter your lungs and nourish
your body. Tell yourself there is plenty of food in the world. You can have more at your
next meal.
- Imagine your next meal. Commit to what time you will eat a nourishing
meal again. Tell yourself you will be kind to yourself during the time between meals, and
you will give yourself a good next meal.
Exercise 5 - 10
- 5. Situation -- reaching for a snack: You are reaching for a snack.
You want to say "no" to the snack, and you can't.
- Exercise:
Pause. Pay attention to your breathing.
- 1. Think.
-
- Where else do you say "yes" because you can't say
"no"?
- Do you smile or silently accept behavior or requests from people
despite your discomfort?
-
- 2. Write down an incident that occurs to you where you wish you could
have said "no" or "stop."
- 3. Write down the snack situation.
- 4. Answer these questions regarding the snack:
- What do you think would happen if you said "no"?
- What would you feel?
- What benefits might you get if you said "no"?
- What benefits might you get for saying "yes"?
- What hardships might you get for saying "yes"?
-
- 5. Answer these questions regarding the incident.
-
- What do you think would happen if you said "no"?
- What would you feel?
- What benefits might you get if you said "no"?
- What benefits might you get for saying "yes"?
- What hardships might you get for saying "yes"?
-
- Compare your answers. Do they have anything in common?
You may be saying "yes" to the snack and "yes"
to a person or organization to protect yourself from some kind of discomfort. Your
unwilling "yes" may be a way of sacrificing joyful opportunities.
Keep what you've written about these situations, questions and
answers. Include them in your journal. Compare them to other situations where you say
"yes" with words or with body acceptance but would prefer to say "no."
-
- 6. Situation -- postponing: You are postponing beginning an activity.
What are you postponing? Is it true that you can postpone everything except eating?
-
- Exercise: Reverse the order. Before you reach for food, pick one
activity you have been postponing and take concrete action. It may be a note or a phone
call. It may be gathering materials you need. A small action mobilizes your personal
power.
-
- 7. Situation -- loneliness: Alone at night you want to eat. You want
the comfort of food and perhaps television.
-
- Exercise: Pause. Think of the people you have known throughout your
life. There is one, perhaps more, who made a positive impact on you. Perhaps you like,
love, or admire them. Perhaps you didn't know these people well, yet are grateful they
touched your life.
- Think of a thought they would appreciate. Share it with them. For
example, send them an expression of appreciation or a picture, article or cartoon that
might delight them.
- Rather than sink into the oblivion of food and television, you can
connect yourself with people in a meaningful way.
-
- 8. Situation -- lying: Have you told a lie lately? Lying is related
to overeating. Don't you lie to yourself about how much you eat and why?
-
- Exercise: Think about lies you told or are still telling. Write down
to whom you lied and why. Include yourself.
- What made that lie necessary? How can you begin to correct that lie
or prevent that lie from being necessary in the future? By facing the secrets you know you
are keeping you become closer to facing deep, personal secrets you don't know about. These
are the secrets that hold tremendous power over your overeating habits.
-
- 9. Situation -- broken promises: Have you broken a promise to anyone
lately? Include yourself. You break a promise to yourself every time you overeat.
-
- Exercise: Make a list of your broken promises. Make good on the
promises you can still honor. You may discover that some promises are impossible to keep
and should not have been made. Acknowledge this. Knowing and accepting what you can and
cannot accomplish increases your ability to establish reasonable limits for yourself. You
become trustworthy to yourself and others.
-
- 10. Situation -- good bye: You have said good bye to your friends and
are home alone. You feel nervous. You are ready to eat whatever you can find for comfort.
-
- Exercise: Pause. Consider moments that delight you. Give yourself a
simple delight now while you are feeling the overeating urge. Perhaps it's listening to
music or taking a warm bath. Read a poem out loud to your cat or dog. Sing in the shower
or do some physical exercise to let out some energy.
Be kind to yourself when you feel the urge to overeat. You want to
overeat because you are threatened by something and are seeking safety, soothing and
peace. Criticizing and punishing someone for being frightened accomplishes nothing
positive. It only makes the frightened person more afraid. On this journey to freedom, the
frightened person is you. Be kind.
Remember, every urge to overeat is a moment of opportunity to
discover and satisfy your true hidden hunger.
When you want to overeat and don't, you will feel something you
don't want to feel. These feelings are your clues to inner mysteries which compel you to
overeat.
Knowing and resolving your secrets can free you to explore what you
really do want. Maybe you can have it, maybe not. When you know what you really want, if
it is realistic you can strive for it. If it is unrealistic you can let it go, mourn and
be free.
Either way, the overeating solution is gone.
The next phase of Triumphant Journey will
show you how to discover secrets you have from yourself and how to move beyond their power
into a life of more health and freedom.
Return to Triumphant Journey Index
Proceed to Part Four
Copyright © 1992 by Joanna
Poppink. All
rights reserved
Joanna Poppink, M.F.T., licensed #15563 by the State of California in 1980
as a Marriage and Family Therapist. She is a private practice
psychotherapist in Los Angeles. She specializes in working
with people
with eating disorders and with people who are trying to understand and help
a loved one with an eating disorder.
Contact Information:
10573 West Pico Blvd. #20
Los Angeles, CA 90064
http://www.joannapoppink.com
(310) 474-4165 phone
joanna.poppink@verizon.net
Copyright © 1992 by Joanna
Poppink. All
rights reserved
Joanna Poppink, M.F.T., licensed #15563 by the State of California in 1980
as a Marriage and Family Therapist. She is a private practice
psychotherapist in Los Angeles. She specializes in working
with people
with eating disorders and with people who are trying to understand and help
a loved one with an eating disorder.
Contact Information:
10573 West Pico Blvd. #20
Los Angeles, CA 90064
http://www.joannapoppink.com
(310) 474-4165 phone
joanna.poppink@verizon.net

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